Blissful Disharmony
by Night by Day
Summary: Douglas Jay Falcon has just received a letter from the F-Zero Commissioner saying he's been kicked out of the racing league. Samus comes to visit him to try and devise a way to repeal the banning. It backfires in the best way possible. FalSam lemon.


**Yeah. First lemon. This isn't on my main account because my family has knows about that, and imagine the awkward conversation when they find out I'm writing about video game characters doing each other.**

**Well, enjoy.**

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Douglas Jay Falcon was sitting on the couch in the main room of his mansion estate as he re-read the letter from the commissioner of the F-Zero racing league for a third time. Despite how much he wanted it to happen, the words wouldn't change. It still read the same thing:

_Mr. Douglas Falcon, we regret to inform you that after an extensive search of your vehicle, the Blue Falcon, and a review of your past performance records that you are hereby kicked out of the F-Zero racing league. This banning is for using illegal parts on your vehicle, and sabotaging other racers._

_This banning can not be repealed under section five, article three of the F-Zero racing code._

_Sincerely,_

_Brian O' Donnel – F-Zero racing league commissioner._

The very racing league that he helped bring out of its darkest time was turning their back on Captain Falcon for something he didn't do. Blamed for something that no doubt the Blood Falcon, the evil DNA clone of Captain Falcon, did.

At this point, the racer in blue felt like nothing really good was going for him. Most people would count the Super Smash Brothers as a pretty nice fallback from the F-Zero racing league, but not only was he not a very popular fighter, racing was his passion. This was something that was not easily replaced.

Upon his misfortune, the first he told was his most trusted friend Samus Aran. She was a bounty hunter that he had met because of the Smash Brothers. Samus had the reputation of a gossip, so no doubt everybody else that she knew knows about it.

Through struggling tears, Falcon could only help but wonder who was going to come to his door first. While he wasn't popular as a fighter, he was popular amongst fighters. Seen as a good leader and an even better friend, everybody from the Smash Brothers will probably come knocking by tomorrow morning.

And in time with Falcon's thoughts, he heard a soft knocking at the door. He could also hear a high pitched sequence of 'pika' from behind the door. It was none other than the infamous yellow mouse, Pikachu.

"Hello, Pikachu," said Falcon as he opened the door.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, Samus kept on saying that you said that you would fine some way to prove your innocence. But, the Blood Falcon shares your DNA, doesn't he?" question Pikachu.

"Yeah…" confirmed Falcon, "I just wish that that bastard was never created! If that son of a bitch Black Shadow had never tried to kill Jody in the first place, then I wouldn't be stuck in this mess. Hell, the Blood Falcon never would have existed!"

"Well, do the high ups in the F-Zero Circuit know that you two share DNA?" began the electric mouse, "If they don't, you can always bring up that and the fact that the Blood Falcon has a nasty history of doing bad stuff, and that you don't."

"I don't really know. But did you read the letter? It said that under section five of article three of the F-Zero racing code that the ban is permanent. There's not much that we could do," said a disappointed Falcon.

"Well what exactly does it say?" questioned Pikachu.

"Who knows?" began a voice from the doorway, "It's not like anybody except for Terry Getter read those."

A grin graced Falcon's face, "Samus has a point. You would expect a nerd like him to actually care about the rules."

"Whose Terry Getter?" asked Pikachu.

"He's an F-Zero pilot," explained Samus, "A kid at that. He's a genius."

"I see…" informed the mouse, "Well, I have to go. I have a match soon."

"Bye," said Samus and Falcon in union. Pikachu left the room right after.

"So… I'm pretty much fucked, aren't I?" asked Falcon rhetorically.

"Don't say that, Douglas!" began Samus. She was the only one who used his real name over names like 'CP' or 'Falcon'. Normally, Falcon would rather be called one of the latter nicknames, but he didn't mind when Samus used his real name. She continued, "If you start thinking like that, you definitely don't have a chance of making it back into the F-Zero. Who knows! We have more suspects than just the Blood Falcon anyway! That kid named Kent Akechi claims to be your son, right?"

"Well, the second suspect would be a good prospect, but unfortunately it's not possible," said Falcon.

"Wait… you mean?"

"Yeah. I'm still a virgin."

Samus was taken aback by this. Falcon was a good looking, rich, and famous. Not only that, but he was in his late twenties. Most people do it for the first time in High School, regardless the fact that it was illegal. She knew that she had done it for the first time when she was a sophomore. Almost half the age that Falcon was now.

Following an obvious awkward silence, Samus said, "Well… Why? I mean, you're the thing that most girls dream about while they're growing up."

"Well, I wasn't dreaming about them. I was too busy thinking about racing while I was growing up. I really didn't focus much on romance," claimed the ex-racer, "But now that I can't race…"

"So what, you're going to start looking for love now? I guess that's something good that's come out of this," said Samus cheerily.

"I might. I mean, I think I've already found it. I just haven't focused on it. I'm a busy guy – or rather was – and you know that," said a cross Falcon.

"Yeah, yeah," Samus just brushed off Falcon's comment like it was a fly. They had gotten into the same argument about who was busier countless times. The famous racer or the intergalactic bounty hunter.

A silence followed. The two had both realized that the previous conversation that they had just had should have been much more awkward than it felt like. The two had had feelings for each other for quite a while now.

"That was awkward…" Falcon stated.

"Yeah…" Samus agreed.

Then, a moment that you would have to have experienced to understand happened. Something has just suddenly clicked between the pair, as they soon found their lips touching in a heated kiss.

It wasn't one out of lust, but it wasn't one of love either. It was just a kiss. Sure, the two had chemistry, and it really should have been made out of love, but it wasn't. It was just happening.

In the same mechanical motion that Samus had done in her previous sexual exploits, and the same one that Falcon had seen when he was watching pornography on his computer, they began to remove each other's clothes.

The first to go was Samus' shirt, only to reveal a white bra. Of course, this wasn't going to happen without a fair trade, as Samus' soon removed Falcon's own shirt, revealing a toned torso.

Falcon cupped his left hand over Samus' breast, stifling a moan from the girl. With his free hand, he reached around and undid Samus' bra, only taking his left hand off her breast to let the bra fall to the floor. He quickly put his hand back to its previous position.

Falcon brought his right hand up to Samus' other breast, and began to fondle that one as well as the other. Samus was giving occasional soft moans. She then moved up to kiss the racer once more.

The two shared a heated kiss. It evolved from one kiss to an open mouth make-out session. They were both topless, but Samus planned to change that soon. She slid her hand down to Falcon's zipper and undid it. She soon removed his pants, to reveal a pair of boxers that were barely covering his erect manhood.

Samus grabbed Falcon's length through the fabric and began to massage it. Falcon began to grown at the rhythmic rubbing, and took the liberty of removing his boxers. Samus soon changed from a hand job to a blow job and began to suck on her mate.

"Ah!" Falcon was coming close to his release, and Samus realized this so she stopped. She wanted to save that for the end.

The female began to slowly remove the rest of her clothes, to reveal her vagina. This only made Falcon even harder than he was before. He moved his head down and began to pleasure Samus using his tongue.

"Unh…" Samus groaned. He was moving his tongue in the same rhythmic sensation that she had been doing earlier when she was stroking his penis.

Falcon stopped and looked at Samus, silently asking for approval. His response was a slight nod, as he brought his head back up and climbed atop his lover. He didn't have to worry about any major pain, the only thing that he did have to worry about was if Samus was using some kind of birth control.

"Are you using birth control? Or something of the sort?" asked Falcon.

Samus replied, "I always do. You never know when… well, you know."

"Good," said Falcon.

He slid inside Samus, nervously beginning slowly. Falcon was shaking a bit, seeing as this was his first time.

"C'mon, Douglas! You're not the type to wimp out," taunted Samus.

The taunt seemed to work, as the racer was quick to speed up after that. Samus was surprised, but pleased by this. Samus and Falcon were now groaning, in blissful disharmony.

After about twenty minutes of the same motion, Falcon had his orgasm. After a very loud groan from Falcon, all motion in the room stopped except for heavy breathing.

"So. You concerned about racing again now, Douglas?" joked Samus.

"Honestly," started Falcon, "I'm not."

Samus laughed at the change as she got up and put her clothes back on. Falcon followed suit.

The two began to walk out of the mansion together. All Falcon had to say was, "So are we going out now? Or was that just pointless sex?"

"Works either way for me," replied Samus.

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**And that's it. Constructive criticism is wanted, and if anybody wants it (which I highly doubt) this is a one-shot, so no sequel will be made.**


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